today, at around 2 plus in the pm, my sense of taste came back to me after a nap.

no, it's not like it was lost, it was there all along, but its existence wasn't a consequential one, it seemed like it wasn't there. for the past 3 weeks, i treated food as merely objects to fill the stomach. i could taste the flavours of food, but they weren't tasty to me. everyday i forced food down the wall of my oesophagus, but in fact my body was rejecting food everytime i tried to swallow, through conscious half-pukes. the 10mg of domperidone for dyspepsia prescribed to me didn't help a bit.

now, all of a sudden, i began to re-appreciate the taste of food. i began to have reminiscences of how my favourite food tasted like, and even how raw salt is like on my bare tongue. pretty soon, i recollected the smoothness of mashed potato, and the savouriness of steak sauce.

jolly well. i'm on my way to getting my butt cheeks back again.

awaiting anxiously an appointment at the neuroscience clinic at the national university hospital tomorrow at 4.40pm to consult prof tsoi. sounds like a hongkonger. i hope he's humourous and converses with me in cantonese.

are there any burning questions you want me to ask the psychiatrist? i can tabao them for you and regurgitate the answers, for free.

questions like what are the integrative mechanisms underlying brain functioning across hierarchical levels of human society? or simply, why can't you seem to get porn out of your head?

mind you, not everyone gets to see a psychiatrist everyday, unless you're some nutcase like me. haha.

irrelevant chant of the day: when you're bored, feed yourself. feed feed feed.

i dun wan to admit it, but this is becoming a trend.

every year in the month of May, the peak of my quarter-life crisis, aka the period of the 'twixter' or 'adultolescent', will surface in some form like a change in relationship status, vocational limbo, or the recurrence of clinical depression. high expectations for life continue - a job that pays decently and is self-fulfilling, a soul mate who doesn't call it quits halfway.

gobbling up grilled shishamo (smelt fish full of egg sacs) whole made me feel much better. yummmy!

campy comedy

"nice hair! i'm circling the shape of your hairstyle with my eyes!" exclaimed lounge-zilla, who was touted to be more fearsome (and famous) than godzilla. he was doing his happy wayang-the-crowd-up pre show dance, when he slided in front of me, paused for a nano-second, and acted his words out in a frenzied motion. for a moment i thought he was going to grab me up onto the stage. thank goodness he only touched men. hohoho.

risque banality (in a funny way) was expected but surprisingly not much vulgarities uttered at the camp comedy finale night at zouk last night. toned down for singaporean sensibilities, apparently.

appreciated all the humour! cheered me up lots.

good night miss independent.

somewhere over the rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh

Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me ee ee eeh
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh

Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world (w)oohoorld

Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I?


and for the last time, with innocence & intensity, i love you.
see you in 2,365,200 minutes
if it is drafted in the masterplan.

fingers hooked, eyes opened, destiny revealed.

do you know?
are you aware?

once upon a time,
i was happy. very.

it has fleeted away,
right under my eyes.

nothing cast in stone,
everything is transient.

/somebody inject lacuna into my veins/

sonic adventure for the ear

This is the experimental soundscape of the week. IT is nine-tenths of the way to pop nirvana. As IT resonates round the little cube i'm in, reverberated -- IT floats me higher until i almost get a bird's-eye view of what makes you tick. IT makes me imagine i'm sitting in a helium balloon gliding ever so lightly in the sky.

My `gummy bear brilliance` meets your `legoland serenity`.
Have a listen to IT.

reflections from the shower

with soap foam running down my (lack of) curves, i hug the shower head close to the right bosom (this is the right-brain intuitive i call it) and allow water to stream down the body, washing nowhere in particular.

yes i'm weird and i waste water. but i like to reflect in the shower.

- i think in spurts and do things in sprints. what?? i hear you say. well i will develop my thoughts like real fast, then up to a certain point, i suddenly can't think anymore. like brakes screeching to a halt. i'm like saying to myself: ya, okay that's the first point, what's next? complete the flow? i blink my eyelids. twice. i tilt my eyes to the right to stimulate the logic waves. but my brain just stops there. hmmm. so i end up with a multi-dimensional thought with no substance to back it up.

- dead strands of protein and dead skin cells disappearing down the pipes are shiok to watch. why do i describe so morbidly.