darkness in the world

I remember being a little kid and having a night-light in my bedroom for those late night pee emergencies. On special occasions, I would leave the fluorescent light of my study table on so that I could fall asleep without being scared.

Why is it that so many kids (and even grown-ups) are scared of the dark? And it seems to be a perfect analogy for our material and spiritual lives. There is something about the darkness that breeds fear, uncertainty, and a sense of the unknown.

It has been a long time since I slept with a night-light now, but sometimes the darkness still scares me. I look outside my window and am consumed with the vast nothingness that is night. Sometimes i imagine Sadako climbing up my window grilles like how she inched up the slimy well in the horror movie.

During the day the view outside my window view is beautiful, with the green of the trees, the blue of the sea near Sentosa, the white of the classy condomiunium opposite. But at night it is all gone. I mean, I know those objects are still there and their beauty has not diminished, but I just can’t see them.

Now, as a twenty-something who is trying to figure out my place in the world, it is not so much the physical darkness which scares me, but more the spiritual darkness I see all around me. I believe in a God who created the very essence of every person that I pass by each day. Yet, sometimes the essence has become more like an outline seen through dark, murky waters rather than light reflected in a mirror.

This world is a dark place. There is so much evil: murder, adultery, hate, greed, pride and jealousy. Sometimes even the days seem dark and gloomy. Sometimes, I wonder what is going to become of our society as God has slowly (but surely) been pushed away by people. Sometimes I feel like it is darker a lot more than it is light.

We are urged to walk in the light for indeed: "God is light; there is no trace of darkness in Him". If we claim that we experience a shared life with Him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we’re obviously not living what we claim. This is something I daily wrestle with: I can’t change the fact that this world is a dark place. I can’t even change how people treat each other, or the worldly views they adopt, which most of time leaves God out of the picture.

All I can do is walk in the light where I see it, and when I don’t see it, (try to) shine my light into the dark places. Matthew 5:14 says, “You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept”.

Maybe I’m not the only one scared of the dark. Maybe the world is scared too, because Christians aren’t shining as they should. We’re called to be bright lights that pierce through the sky, but all that glows from us are little bulbs that give just enough light to get through the night. It seems difficult to be a light when I am still scared of the dark. Sometimes I feel like if I can’t even find my own way, then how am I supposed to point others in the right direction?