for when i am weak, then i am strong

I was agonizing, slumped in my chair. This is the critical moment in my life. I have not made any progress, but on the contrary, fallen. This is the Defining Dark.

I shouted angrily, with building rage: "God? Are you up there? Do you know what's happening in my life? When I was down in the dumps, nobody helped me, God, nobody!" I shoke my fist. I asked:" Is this the reward for all those years of breaking my back? Is THIS what kind of God you are?" I covered my face with my hands.

Slowly, an angel moved behind me.

To stand guard about with vigilance.

To thwart the enemy for me.

Then, I had a revelation -- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
"He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

A revelation indeed!!!

My weakness is not a detriment. When I am weak for God, it is an advantage. God’s work can only be done in God’s strength, not my own strength. It is not easy to accept of it; it is far from easy to see its full meaning.

I personally don't like to feel utterly weak. I have let my weakness defeat me at times. My focus gets stuck on myself and on my circumstances, not on Jesus Christ.

The christian often tries to forget his weakness; God wants us to remember it, to feel it deeply. The christian wants to conquer his weakness and to be freed from it; God wants us to rest in it. The christian mourns over his weakness; God teaches us to take pleasure in infirmities. The christian thinks his weakness is the greatest hindrance; God tells us that it is the secret of strength and success.

God’s strength is given to the work that is done in faith. It takes a living faith to take pleasure in weaknesses, and in weakness to do our work, knowing that God is working in us. Without seeing or feeling anything, to go on in the confidence of a hidden power working in us — this is the highest exercise of a life of faith, amid outwardly unfavourable circumstances.

Help me, God!
It is in being crippled that I learn to cling,
and in limping that I learn to lean,
that victory comes not in how I struggle
but in how completely I surrender,
and this is how I am to grow,
by being defeated constantly.
Your power is perfected in weakness,
so that when I am rendered weak,
You are given the opportunity to be shown strong.

Amen.

I stood up. I am now strong.