icy poem

the ice is melting, waiting for you
as you lay quietly in your tent
if you think you know all about
robots in the deep
well you have a lot to find out

the ice is melting, waiting for you
the others lying dormant underwater
if you think you are living life
a distance from the edge
well time is on the move for you

what are you waiting for
there are no bottlenecks in the ice
there is no dissolution and decay too
so will you give three stars out of five?

the ice is melting, waiting for you

amazing thailand -> bangkok rawks!

Sa-wad-dee… Me, Terence & Nana just came back on a 4 day 3 nite 'shopping' tour to Bangkok, Thailand. Jean was supposed to come wth us but she just started work at SKIN boutique and so had to forgo the trip... but we still wished that Jean was with us every single moment of the trip... Nevertheless, here is my mini travelogue to record every step of the trip!

I fell in love with Bangkok instantly, so much so that i uploaded a very nice Thai song onto my blog! check out the song as it auto-plays! Isn't this guy's voice amazing? He's from a Thai band called Peacemaker and not bad-looking too!

















On 21st July 2005, we arrived at the Changi airport at 0750hrs to check in at the ValuAir counter, and got nice window seats just in front of those Emergency Exit seats.






















haha, we didn't choose them, but they were allocated to us. Our flight to Bangkok took two hours, and it ended with the cabin crew serenading us with a acapella 'Thank you for flying with Valuair' song! Not bad a gimmick for a budget airline!

Upon reaching Bangkok International Airport at 1110hrs, we took a taxi to Khao San Road, the hub of backpackers, foreigners and tourists just like us.

















There were hordes of guest houses in that one road alone, and it was like a replica of Singapore's Geylang, Clarke Quay and Bugis combined together.

















We felt so connected and at home in Khao San Road, cos it was so happening - thriving with activity and buzzing with people into the wee hours of the morning. Indeed, the song 'One Night In Bangkok' summarizes it all:

Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies - doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change - don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue

It's Iceland... or the Philippines... or Hastings... or... or this place!

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother
It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town...
Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a Muddy old river or reclining Buddha
And thank God I'm only watching the game, controlling it

I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you

When we reached Khao San Road after 45 mins on the highway, we were warmly welcomed... by this fella.






















After we dumped our luggage at this backpackers' lodging called the CLASSIC INN (lol!), we immediately got on with some major shopping at Khao San Road itself.

















We made sure we bargained hard for all our purchases and at the end of the first day, my shopping haul was worth around $2000 over baht! hehehe!

To reward ourselves for shopping so hard, Terence went to grab some Pad Thai which was tempting us a few streets away with its super delicious smell.

Before our first night in Bangkok ended, we headed a few shops away from our inn and turned into a corner to this place for a Thai massage, only costs $100 baht for half an hour! The masseuse was pressing my acupoints and making me itchy especially at the inner thigh and inner arm areas. Then she contorted my body into various positions and we were trying hard not to laugh our heads off... One power move she made - she bent my body backwards and I heard a "crack"! Oh my! My whole body must be really stiffened up from all the stress i've been facing in SG.

I had wake up calls courtesy from Terence & Nana every morning at 0830 hrs BKK time. What an effcient call service from them cos their method of waking me up was to make a ruckus in my ear and carrying me to the entrance of the attached bathroom... LOL.

On the 2nd day, we were itching for more shopping at Pratunum market. Spent about $4000 baht at this place! Had a massive headache as the air circulation inside the market was horrendous.






















Went Pratunam Center 'food park' for lunch and found out that we needed to buy a coupon card to pay for our food orders, not unlike the game arcades in SG. Interesting way to make people spend more money as one will just subconsciously top up more into the card before buying anything to eat.

At night, back in Khao San, we chanced upon this intriguing 'Ladder Challenge' complete with a cheesy jingle that was blasting at full volume to attract trialists. The jingle goes like this: "1! 2! 3! 4! dingdelingdingdingding! dingdelingdingdingding! Ladies & gentlemen, come conquer the ladder, hot hot hot! Hit the bell and get a 1000 baht! *sings* Try..Try...Don't waste your time..." It was super hilarious! Ask me to sing it for you when u see me!






















All 3 of us went to try this ladder out, it was immensely difficult cos the centre of gravity was positioned in such a way you will lose your balance if you do not know how to distribute your weight correctly. The owner, who looked like a character right out of a cowboy movie, could do it with no hands grabbing the poles, in approximately 5 seconds! Amazing i tell you!

After all that hard balancing work, we went to grab this best-in-the-world banana egg pancake with chocolate sauce and condensed milk on top. It's really yummy!






















On the 3rd day, my joints hurt like hell after the ladder feat and i had bruised patches on my upper arm sustained from swerving and hitting myself on the ladder when i lost the balance. Geesh...

Still, we had already decided to chiong down to the Chatuchak / Jatujak ( 2 different spellings but same place) weekend market.






















An area of almost ten football fields, Chatuchak has everything and anything under the sun. I had not been a crazy shopaholic for such a looonnnnnnnnnggggggggg time!

















We roamed through all the shops under the scorching heat, probably close to 40 degrees. Perspired like a dripping pig in there, never felt more sticky in my life. Luckily this mouth-watering skewer of thai kebabs sold at the market made our day! It costs only $5 baht per stick and it was the best I ever had. At night, we had Meatball Noodle Soup and Omelette Rice - in a trueblue Thai roadside style - except that we don't squat like them when eating. Look how engrossed we are in our food.

















Again, the local authentic taste is what you can NOT find in SG... *drool* And, LOOK what we saw being sold - deep fried larvae and grasshoppers!!! Anyone game for Thai Fear Factor?

















There were many locals who commented that we looked Thai, maybe I should migrate to Thailand?? See how chummy I am with the locals.


















































I was feeling kind of guilty for the last 4 days. It has been eating, shopping, chilling, shopping, massages, shopping, and sleeping. But it was a good break considering how moody and mellow i was feeling before the trip.






















And the unfortunate pickpocket of my mobile phone on our last day did not help any bit to sooth my nerves...SOB SOB!

When we reached the airport, after we struggled with the heavy luggages on the verge of tumbling down the trolley and after we checked in at the Thai ValuAir counter, we rushed to the Tourist Police to make my loss report so that I can submit the documents for my travel insurance claims.

When our flight time was drawing near, we ran around inside the departure hall like 3 mad chickens asking "where's gate 25? where's gate 25?", cos we had took our own sweet time to browse throught the 'King of Duty Free' zone. What a name, haha! Being a budget airline, the ValuAir aeroplane was parked in the furthest end of the wing.

















All heaving and panting, and somewhat like running a baton race, we plonked our passports into the hands of the cute immigration officer, who had a head shot photo taken at his university convocation as the photo on his staff pass. Kewt!

While Terence & Nana were in their own lovey-dovey world, I stared out at the airplane window as it was moving along the runway, reminiscing on the best 4 holi-days so far in the year 2005.






















As it came close to home ground, I knew I was going to miss Bangkok. Not so much for its shopping, but the rich culture, the friendliness of the Thais, which you can never experience back in Singapore.

Bangkok rawks. La-gon & laew-phob-kan-mai!

paper strips & test tubes

i got nothing but heartache all this while. i asked God many times, if this is not His will, then change my desires... I am weak...i need someone strong... Just when i thought i have found that strength, i get struck down again... There are so many question marks in my head...full of "???" Who will answer my questions but Him? Who will calm my heart but Him? Who will solve the mystery but Him?

One day, when i have given up totally...will i become a different person? will i become God's plan B? 2 symbolic departures... to be looked from outside the picture, to be viewed from a bird's eye above.

There's still a long road in front of me to travel...i have to battle hard against the bad voices from below, i have to numb myself from the evil forces below...

i tore up one whole realm of recycled paper into strips... i wonder, should i also hug test tubes to sleep?

普通朋友
詞曲: David Tao

等待 我隨時隨地在等待
做你感情上的依賴
我沒有任何的疑問 這是愛

我猜 你早就想要說明白
我覺得自己好失敗
從天堂掉落到深淵 多無奈

我願意改變 (what can i do?)
重新再來一遍 (just give me a chance)
我無法只是普通朋友
感情已那麼深
叫我怎麼能收手

但你說 i...
i only want to be your friend 做個朋友
我在妳心中只是 just a friend 不是情人
我感激妳對我這樣的坦白
但我給你的愛暫時收不回來
so i... 我不能只是 be your friend
i just can’t be your friend

no, no, no 我不能只是做你的朋友
不能做普通朋友

from faith to faith

The atmosphere around us is more important than we think. In an atmosphere where many pray, it is easy to pray. In an atmosphere where many believe in God, it is easy to believe. The atmosphere is not everything, but everything is easier when it is right. The atmosphere is very different when heaven is open over a particular place.

An atmosphere also accompanies individual believers. Pessimism thrives around some people, and this negative atmosphere spreads almost automatically. It is so noticeable you can almost touch it.

But the same is true of faith. In an atmosphere of faith and trust, faith spreads from person to person. From faith to faith, from one person’s faith to another’s. In this way, an entire congregation and an entire area can experience a totally changed atmosphere. Suddenly it becomes easier to find solutions. Things no longer seem so difficult. Possibilities appear, and an expectation of change becomes a lifestyle.

Faith is more contagious than unbelief. A positive attitude automatically transmits a go-ahead spirit and joy. There is nothing as wonderful as an atmosphere of faith. It is not a smooth, superficial cheerfulness but rather a well of joy and trust that rests on the assurance that, even today, Jesus has everything under control. Eyes of faith see Jesus and know that He does not have any limitations. He still create things out of nothing. He still takes what seems small and insignificant and makes it into something beautiful.

- Ulf Ekman's words of wisdom

my sacrifice

Sacrifice is a good word.

I don't want to gloss it over with religious rituals, or reshape it by inflated self-achievement, or strip it of its deserved grace.

The basic meaning of sacrifice is offering. To sacrifice is to make an offering. A sacrifice is that which is offered. There is nothing qualitative or quantitative in the definition of the word. It can be monetary. it can be intangible.

I may have to go through deprivation. But I am willing to insert simplicity into my life!
I may have to be in financial strain. But I am willing to put forth a gift of love to build God a great house!

I WILL SOW WITH TEARS & REAP WITH JOY!

I may be forgotten by the one that I do not want to forget. But I will be happy as long as I know he is happy.
I may be neglected by my friends and those around me. But I am willing to please God and not myself.

GOD MUST INCREASE & I MUST DECREASE!

Artist - Creed
Lyrics - Sacrifice

Hello my friend we meet again
It's been a while where should we begin
Feels like forever

Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh I remember

When you are with me
I'm free
I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes

My sacrifice

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

When you are with me
I'm free
I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes

My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again

When you are with me
I'm free
I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes

When you are with me
I'm free
I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes

My sacrifice
My sacrifice
I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again
My sacrifice

eat to live, or live to eat?

What is food to me? To start, let me explain the ‘food’ we eat nowadays. Eating all the preservatives and chemicals put in our food can be equated to drinking formaldehyde. Mad Cow Disease, Avian Flu, Hoof and Mouth Disease - it makes us die in unnatural ways.

I know some people take all these into consideration when choosing their food, but are most people taking these issues seriously? People are so spoiled by having a virtually endless supply of food every corner they walk to, the idea of revamping the food industry hardly seems like a worthwhile task. The mentality seems to be "We're eating, so who cares where it comes from?"

But think about how harmful such ignorance could be. Say tomorrow that contaminated meat went undetected by several fast food restaurants and was sold as burgers unknowingly. Then, from seemingly out of nowhere, people started dying - their stomachs being eaten from the inside out. It sounds like a grotesque exaggeration of a worst-case scenario, but think about it.

Convenience should not take priority over quality. This seems obvious to me. If given the choice between a processed, manufactured meal 10 metres away and a natural, home-cooked meal 10 kilometres away, I'd walk for quality. Sure, it depends on how hungry you are, but whom in Singapore is that hungry? There's barely an excuse. We've got so much food obesity is killing us off in record numbers.

Can you really gamble with the food you eat? If you ask me, do I eat to live, or live to eat? My answer will be: I eat to live. I want to, I need to.

a bowl of mercury

I feel darkness enveloping.

I saw something, a huge bowl filled with mercury, very heavy silver-coloured liquid.

At the bottom of all the mercury was dirt, junk, and residue, as black as it can be.

Then i saw that blood was poured into the mercury, and an invisible hand was stirring the whole contents.

All the black stuff were stirred up, the red blood was mixing with the mercury and forming bubbles.

That was what I saw in the spirit.


"Father, i pray to you, that u send a legion of angels to watch over us. i ask of the sweetest dreams as we rest, i ask of a portion of ur faith, Lord, for us to keep walking in You. Dearest Jesus, u have built the law of purpose and ability in us, let no one take it away by the schemes of the devil. In your mighty name, in Christ Jesus it shall be fulfilled. Amen"

i bind you!

With hot tears streaming down my mud-masked face and making a black mess down my neck, I pray:

"Father God, I bind the spirit of d*pr*ssion and d*c*ption in my life! Devil, stop doing this to me!!! I call upon the power of the blood of Jesus Christ, the resurrected Son of God, to take back any ground I have given to Satan; tear down the strongholds he made, and build towers of truth that I may see Your will..."

Satan's flaming arrows, his awful lies, are so overwhelming to me. I really wanna rebuke those thoughts he's been putting into my mind. I dun wanna fight this spiritual battle by myself anymore. Being su*c*dal is not exactly something one would be proud of to admit. Discouragement is one of Satan's best debilitating weapons. It's painful enough as it is, and I'm beating myself up internally. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, all that condemning words are coming from Satan who hates me, making me hate myself - why am I listening to him???

Satan, i bind you right now!
Jesus, don't pass me by...

Artist - Planet Shakers
Lyrics - Don't Pass Me By

My heart it longs
My soul it thirsts for more
For more of You

I'm reaching out
I'm waiting here for more
For more of You

Cause all I want is You
And all I need is to be here with You

I'm hungry for Your fire
I'm desperate, You're my one desire
Jesus, please dont pass me by

I need You more than ever
I'm thirsty for a touch from Heaven
Jesus, please don't pass me by

Don't pass me by Lord
I'm desperate for You